Grotuu the Unspeakable
Grotuu found this movie to be
something of a disappointment. The central character,
for all the talk of separation from humanity, seemed
quite mundanely mammalian to Grotuu. Four limbs,
one sensory bulb with mask and hat, etcetera, etcetera,
etcetera. Where is the inhumanity? Where is the
frightfulness? Grotuu sees only another bipedal
primate with some epidermal abnormalities and an
unusual affinity for athletics. There were several
tantalizing moments when the mask almost came off
and Grotuu thought, "perhaps there are antennae"
or "perhaps there are arachnoid mouthparts"
or even -oh, delightful fantasy- "perhaps there
is only a tentacle with a mouth on it," but
alas, such moments were no more than a cruel tease.
Grotuu would like to imagine such things behind
the mask, but somehow He remains unconvinced.
What is this crap? I take this job after being assured
that all I’d have to do is rent the occasional
obscure DVD and my first assignment turns out to
be a current box office hit. You have no idea what
a pain it is to arrange security and my entourage
when I go out!
To top it off, being
the new girl sucks! To say that I have not yet meshed
well with my co-workers might be an understatement.
I’m willing to give it time, although I’m
a little bitter about having to share a desk with
Judith. This is not because she has weird personal
space issues, but she never seems to leave the desk.
Not ever! The one time I saw her leave the desk
for the restroom, she never got out of her chair.
She just rolled herself down the hall, taking the
chair with her. Fortunately it did not take long
for me to figure out that Judith is a drunk. All
I had to do was bring her a chicken wrap for lunch
one day with a pitcher of Bloody Marry (extra spicy,
double vodka) and the bitch was out. Now I could
wheel her into the bathroom and get to work!
This is not a movie you
want to see with Grotuu the Unspeakable. He seemed
infatuated with my hair color. During the film I
received no less than six marriage proposals from
him and he kept doing this weird trick where he
would pick popcorn out of the bucket with what I
hope was his tongue. It is so difficult to focus
on the deeper meaning of a film when the words “You
will carry Grotuu’s spawn. You will mother
the army that conquers the universe,” keep
echoing in your head.
There are a few key points
that I feel are worth mentioning about the movie.
Hugo Weaving’s acting was just awful. While
he did manage to convey emotion, his facial expression
never changed throughout the entire film. The plot
is interesting however. The story takes place in
the not so distant future. The United States is
no longer what it once was so George Bush has relocated
to the United Kingdom and had himself declared High
Chancellor of a new fascist regime. Everybody who
is anybody hates the High Chancellor and they all
have these nifty hidden closets like Yvonne Craig
in the old Batman TV show. The main difference,
of course, is that these closets are filled with
contraband art and books in addition to the skintight
spandex and pleather suits. Not to fear, someone
has hatched the ingenious plot of snatching Guy
Fawkes from the past so that he can lead another
Gunpowder Revolution against the evil High Chancellor
Bush. You want to root for Fawkes until he locks
up sweet little Natalie Portman for the better part
of a year. I mean, who but Nute Gunray could be
so cruel to that pretty little thing?
In the end we are left
with a very powerful message that rings true in
our contemporary world. “People should not
be afraid of their government. People should be
afraid of Grotuu the Unspeakable."
I haven't seen this movie and I'm sure I wouldn't
like it if I did. Be careful. People who like this
movie are disappearing every day. My research indicates
that it was, in fact, released by the Shadow Cabinet
and Target to get potential anarchists to expose
themselves by endorsing its message. Open your eyes,
sheeple! They've used the Wachowski brothers for
this before, you know. How many people do you hear
talking about how great the Matrix is? Not too many
these days. They're all gone!
It is rare that a decent movie slips past the liberal
Hollyweird censors and manages to get a message
of substance out to the people. V for Vendetta,
however, is such a film. This movie shows us in
horrid graphic detail just what kind of nightmare
world the liberal media is trying to make for us,
and at the same time gives us a lantern of hope
in the form of a champion of for all decent people,
V. Much like Bill O'Reilly and Ann Coulter, V stands
up to the leftist campaign of global misinformation
and puts the fear of God into them.
One can also find a note of valuable
warning in the timely V for Vendetta. Note that
it is the liberal fascist government which caused
the terrible disaster that killed so many Irish
in the movie. This is much like the way liberal
fanatics today keep inviting disaster with weak
policies in the War on Terror and constant whining
about communist style "civil liberties"
when our national security is at risk. The place
where V is experimented upon, also, reminds me very
much of a stem cell research facility. Make no mistake,
while V is a noble hero and someone all conservatives
can look up to, we would still be better off preventing
his necessity by stopping the liberals from taking
There was something about the casting
that suited me as well, although I can't quite put
my finger on it. All of those actors looked like
people I would be willing to share a water fountain
or a restroom with, though.
V for Vendetta is the tale of young Theo (Natalie
Portman), a shepherd from somewhere in the Greek
peninsula. In order to save the woman he loves (hauntingly
portrayed by John Hurt) from being devoured by the
Minotaur, Theo allows himself to be captured and
thrown into the labyrinth, where he hopes to find
her. Deep in the labyrinth, Theo meets the gladiator
called Tron (Hugo Weaving) and comes to terms with
the heavy burden of his messianic role in the struggle
This movie takes us to some dark places
morally and spiritually, and will no doubt ruffle
a few feathers with its implications about the Minoan
Empire. Still, V for Vendetta is well worth seeing,
if only for the dramatic final confrontation between
Tron and the Minotaur (Stephen Rea), in which we
learn the true source of their life-long enmity.