This kitten is exactly the sort
of squishy nonsense I would expect from a Hollyweird
production. We are expected to love it simply because
it is "cute" even though it has never
worked a day in its life and never intends to. I
suppose I would be accused of being "mean-spirited"
if I did not pet it. Well, I won't pet it, and I
urge all right-thinking Americans to take pride
in their work ethic and join me in shunning not
only this kitten, but kittens, puppies, and green
vegetables everywhere. Kittens represent every wrong-headed
idea that has turned this great nation away from
its former glory, and I refuse to tolerate them
Grotuu the Unspeakable
While Grotuu seldom has any use
for mammals, he found this creature to be strangely
endearing. Looking at this picture, one finds oneself
overwhelmed by the urge to wrap one's tentacles
around the tiny animal it depicts. While this would
not be unusual in itself, the desire to crush the
encircled creature and devour its pulpy remains
was strangely absent. Had Grotuu not already been
banned from all local pet stores, he might look
into such a thnig.
I know what this is. I saw the hypnogogic patterns
that came in that "game" we were supposed
to review earlier. Just because they're better hidden
in this kitten picture doesn't mean they aren't
there. I won't look! I won't!
This is easily the most exploitative thing the YBFG
editors have ever done! Why are we reviewing a picture
of a kitten? Has this kitten (Gula? Is that its
name?) or its family been reimbursed for the use
of its image? For that matter, I don't even see
a listing of Gula's demographic information. How
am I supposed to explain this in my EEOC report?
The Animal Actors' Guild is going to be all over
us for this one, and I really can't blame them.